22 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Time to Edit

During the creation of LoveDance, my husband wondered why I didn’t use a story board, but I didn’t need one, the story unfolded magically, plot threads weaving themselves into an amazing tapestry. From September 16^th through April 21^st, I wrote over 420,000 words! Resembling the rehearsal of the lead role in an epic film, I became Mary in every intimate detail. Too much detail…time to trim the fat from the lean…

 April 22^nd, 2004 Without a break, I begin the editing process. The memories must wait, for now is the time to refine book one. I need movement, having neglected Shane, I miss riding, but my compulsive nature cannot stop until it is finished. Still as I catch my breath, yearning to continue Mary’s story, I wish not to be separated from my muse. Perhaps now I should take the time to read what others have written about Mary Magdalen, find out if there is any proof of the remembrance. 

April 27^th, 2004 Steve found the Goddess in the Gospels. An interesting book, the energy, symbology, geomatria amazing, not quite in line with my work, but I do not take offense. We all create through the filter of our perceptions. Yeshua comes in sporadically now that I no longer actively create. Even my cat does not sit on my lap as I edit. In the book, I read a quote: “Return my wife to me.” Taken by church doctrine, perpetuated through the centuries, hidden by default, heirs forgotten, bloodline diluted, the message of love but a glimmer of hope in the heart of those incarnate souls yet… fear reigns when the truth is revealed. Now the Great Mother labors, there is no stopping the birth of the goddess—the sister, daughter, wife. We are all midwives—the bridegroom waits patiently. Blessed am I to receive the fullness of self without shame or judgement and casts back the light of my beingness into the shadow that was Mary.

21 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Separation

The conceptus floats in a rented womb

Attempting to individuate Self

Separate from the Mother 

Two weeks before I dreamt I was Mary, I had set my intentions to have my own connection. Receiving Mary’s story in such an amazing fashion seemed an answer to my prayers. I sought validation for my interdimensional experiences by confiding in women old enough to be my mother. Women who had claimed their sixth sense, some even making a living by working with the energies. While they supported my creative process, I could not see that I was searching for the Divine Mother through them rather than find the connection in my own heart. With my horas nature, I bared my soul and shared everything with them.

 

For eight moon cycles I recorded Mary’s life—in the first person, present tense—as if I had lived it. All the while, reading each precious piece to the mothers in my life. Of course they loved it; their “daughter” was creating something wonderful. Some were fearful for me as they peered into the future expecting this controversial book to upend my existence. Others lived vicariously through Mary, amazed as I wrote dramatic experiences of womanhood, some of which I have not lived, yet they confirmed the truth of the telling. Many of my presale readers ask if this story reflects my life and are surprised when I deny specific events for it seems so real. Perhaps I tapped into a vein of consciousness that allowed me to flow into another’s life, experience her very breath, and return to this reality to record every sensation.

20 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Searching for Maternal Mentors

I spent the first half of my adult life being the scientist, experiencing the masculine aspect of self, until I opened to receive the sacred feminine. Since then the universe has sent me maternal mentors—until I fully received my own power to manifest beauty and love in my life. Some of my mentors left all they knew—family, home, husbands, children, society—to delve into the old paradigm of abstinence. Separate from all to find oneness. They even encouraged me to leave, but I resisted, finding solace at home, in the arms of my husband, in the laughter of my children, in the life I created. Why can’t I have it all—spiritual enlightenment, inter-dimensional connection, and a fully human life complete with good food, good wine, good music, good sex, good tears? Is not this amazing body that my soul inhabits the vehicle for my transformation? Is not all creation perfect in its perpetual transmutation to come unto Sacred Union?

  I remember when on…

 Nov 5^th, 2003 A healing occurs as I release the need to venerate mentors, looking outside of self for the truth, when the guru exists within. My first spiritual mentor and probably not my last, initiated this awakening by telling me to plug in! After years of being impressed with the energetic connections when we were together, the amount of information coming in whenever we spoke, she got tired of our human existence being interrupted. We couldn’t even go to lunch without the guides coming in to deliver messages! She moved away as they all have. Besotted with love for all, I wish not to be an unclear portal, so continually release my fear. As I share the details of the story with Mom, she worries about Steve in this triangular relationship and how it is playing out now. There is much healing going on for all of us.  

How I struggled with gurus who set themselves apart as the only one to know a certain concept. Yes, I placed them on a pedestal as I sat at their feet absorbing what they had to teach me. And with my audacious confidence I would apply what I had learned as soon as possible. If they could see it, feel it, be it…so could I. And if I could, then so could my friends, family, patients. I believe what we see in others is a reflection of what we believe about ourselves. As soon as I realized I was venerating another, usually way after those around me provided ample warning, I would cut the guru down…release her from the throne in my mind and set her free. Then another would take her place.

19 Remembering Mary Magdalen: If Mary can do it, so can I

April 9^th, 2004  Since so much that I’ve written has happened, I wondered… if Mary can read minds why can’t I? Of course I know what Steve is thinking, but we’ve been together so long. So at Border’s I was in line to get a latte and a few moments later it felt like my pants fell off! I twirled around and the man directly behind me backed away guiltily. “You better watch what you think,” I warned and he tuck-tailed it out of there! Sipping my latte, I told the universe that was too much information.  

April 18^th, 2004 Steve dreamt of the compound then and in the future, slipping through the portal and enacted a scene nearly identical to one I wrote about Teoma even naming the characters, the events. Still he has yet to read anything I have written. I must quell my passion to keep from slipping more and more into the parallel universes. There is no time, all exists in the now. Often I am in both places here in Ojai and there in Galilee, so much poetic remembrance. I am blessed to be connected to sacred unity slipping in and out of bliss while I travel my path.  

April 20^th, 2004  Eight moon cycles to the day, I am finished! We celebrated with dear friends who I believe were with us in the past. Since the conception of this book they’ve remodeled a home in Palm Springs like those of Qumran, sharing with us their love for the desert.  I wonder why? J The synchronicities never end!

18 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Passionate Me

 March 14^th, 2004 These cords of attachment run deep and long. In the ethers we release them, in our bodies we struggle with their remnant energy—the habit of being attached. We respond to the fiery emotion that cast the cords into metal chains to bind us. It is not easy being human, but it is divine. We are never alone although the work is done secretly in our heart under the watch of our mind’s eye. 

March 17^th, 2004 Seeing the Passion of Christ affected me not as I expected. With Yeshua’s ethereal support, I rose into a place of compassionate observation understanding that the depiction is through the filter of fear. Jarys had a tremendous opening seeing that pain, suffering, even death is all of the One, that the two flames are One, that the One is within. He argued with Yeshua through me about returning to fix the mess his followers have created. Yeshua explained that the second coming is an awakening of a christed consciousness within each of us, spurred in part by the book. 

March 20^th, 2004 On my birthday, adoration comes up in a sense of awe for who I am, for creation, for those I love. Looking into Steve’s eyes, I see his awakening. As I release him he settles and meets me. Gathering the disciples in the writing, presenting them with compassion is a blessed chore. What confuses me most is who they are in this life, but I see flavors of each in many. Perhaps it’s the mitosis again. Once there was a Judas who now lives in many, some hold the guilt of the myth, some more like the Judas I remember—a bear of a man with honey inside.

17 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Like Mary, I am a healer

March 7^th, 2004 Well, I am a sensory healer! My beautiful patients reinforce why I am here. One young woman wanted a tour of her body, asking me to show her the energies claiming that my gift is to blend the spiritual and medical. In our next home, I would like a Chamam, a place for women, not just my red skirt that signifies my time, alerting my family to treat me warily. Kyra cut her hair and gave it to a charity that makes wigs for cancer patients. How lovely she is with her golden brown curls! How brave to give of her essence to strangers. She is the true Divine Daughter, seeing the light in all, living in joy. 

March 11^th, 2004 The time is ripe to disentangle my cords of attachment to Steve, Jarys, Kyra, Mom, and yes to Yeshua. I have surrendered the others already. Just as I did as Mary, thus I will do as Deborah and discover the I AM. Do I choose this day to face the front or the back of the mirror? The back of 3-D phenomena—that which all creatures instinctively interact or the front—the true face of G-D, of the universal image. As I clear the dust of my memory, I see more and more connections. As I view the back with an eye to the front, a greater perception occurs and I can laugh at my humanness. Again something has shifted in my interiority. Today I write the surrender of love, especially Steve and Kyra. Jarys is easier for I surrendered him to his destiny when I birthed him into college two years ago. Since then I have danced more gracefully with his loving intelligence. Undifferentiated from illumination are children, but for the fullness of the human experience, each must develop all the me’s, then awaken to a deeper illumination and gather the little me’s without judgement, allowing them to be cast into the light of the One. The collective me’s develop in this life to be unified  into the I, then connect tot the universal I AM. Children refer to themselves as me, the more enlightened ones like Yeshua use “I” from early on.

16 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Uniting the Feminine and the Masculine

Feb 25^th, 2004 I can see how the beginning and the end are one and the same. How the past and the future merge into the present. How the writing of this book unites the dark and the light—the feminine and masculine. A merge is taking place as Yeshua seems within me, separating out to communicate then I breathe him back into my being. 

Feb 28^th, 2004 So much transpires within my own family. Jarys argued with his religion teacher saying that the gospel interpretations are not what…he almost spouted “his brother said” He asked me what part he played then, believing as I do that we travel in soul families. After seeing The Passion, he envisioned himself as a prophet of sorts and wants me to see it. I do not know that I can. Kyra had a dream in which she described the house in Nazareth—although she has not read my work. Then she shared with the gymnastics carpool that she sees ghosts, has telepathic communication with her best friend, her grandma and me, and remembers a past life as a dark skinned girl named Sarah. Although she mentioned being Sarah when she was three, reading her history book has stirred up dreams and memories. Usually she is so cautious, but the girls received her inter-dimensional experiences with joy.

15 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Expressing Gratitude

Jan 23rd, 2004 My walking meditation revealed that I need to express my gratitude. I do for Steve, the children, this writing, my ethereal connections, my patients and family. Perhaps I do not give myself fully because I am afraid of the fullness of my power. Before I sink into despair the universe offers a gift. A patient I helped wrote to thank me for helping her, yet it was she who helped me see that depression is lack of self love and appreciation. I have compassion for the human condition for I feel very much connected to my form in this earthly density.   

Feb 1^st, 2004 writing the Qumran experience is unnerving for what I have envisioned does not jive with what the scholars of the Dead Sea scrolls believe existed in the ancient Essene city. When I called my rabbi friend for advice she said to “forget 2000 years of Victorian Christendom and just be Mary!” I told her of my visions while writing the desert scene and she was surprised, claiming that what I “saw” is what kabbalists believe. How could I know what is only revealed word of mouth unless I was there? She believes in past lives. Sometimes I don’t know for it feels more like I’m living in two realities at once—the one two thousand years ago infusing remembrance of my potential into the present. The writing goes slowly for my emotive nature as Mary creates such drama; everything has sharp defined flavors—bitter sorrow, sweet joy, salty frustration. 

Feb 20^th, 2003 Steve expressed concern about the book coming out. That I might not complete the work, that I’m more enchanted by the journey than the destination. And I am but that is the point of this life—the joy of the journey. Besides I have finished everything else I planned: my education, my professional leadership, my private practice, the children nearly grown, still happily married. Except the hormone book. I think he believes it would be more legitimate and thus safer. Perhaps but I have faith that this first draft will be completed this spring.

Author Deborah Maragopoulos MN FNP Wins Best Spiritual Fiction Book in Reader Views 2007 Annual Literary Awards

“LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter” was selected as the best Spiritual Fiction Book of 2007 by Reader Views Annual Literary Awards. Reader Views Annual Literary Awards were established to honor writers who self-published or had their books published by a small press, university press, or independent book publisher.

 

“Reader Views reviews more than 2,000 books per year from budding authors who have worked hard to achieve their dream of being published,” Reader Views Managing Editor Irene Watson says. “Our Annual Literary Awards recognize the very best of these up-and-coming authors, all talented writers who we know have very promising writing careers ahead of them.”

 

The Reader Views Annual Literary Awards are granted in 20 fiction and 30 nonfiction categories, as well as 15 specialized, sponsored categories. The entries are judged by Reader Views reviewers, all avid readers with a wide range of experiences, considered experts in the respective fields.

  About LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter is an intimate unveiling of Mary Magdalen as a woman awakening to her sacred feminine power. LoveDance reveals the grace and the beauty of the times as well as the passion and the sorrow. Mary’s awakening will touch your heart and heal your soul.  

Celebrity actress Kathryn Ross described LoveDance as “a lovely and timely book… Mary’s story is a parable for all of us. It’s time to get back in balance. Amazing that even 2000 plus years ago we were swayed or coerced into certain beliefs by politics and male dominated religion. Not too different from the present.”

 History was written by men. LoveDance is HERstory. LoveDance: Awakening the Divine Daughter may be purchased at www.lovedance.com 

14 Remembering Mary Magdalen: Dancing in the New Year

Jan 2^nd, 2004 Dropping Kyra off on New Years eve, I strove to meet the parents holding the teen gathering. Somehow the book came up. I have no hesitancy sharing this amazing experience with friends and family, but these were strangers. And they asked if I was Christian. And I said no but neither were Mary and Yeshua. They were Hebrew. The looks on their faces made me realize why Steve worries so. He’s preparing for crosses to be burned on the lawn when this book comes out. In spite of the controversial nature of my story, I must have faith that all will be well. This said, how hard it is to humanize Yeshua—but to me he was very much a man who felt love, anger, jealousy, joy. Yesterday during our new year’s hike, Steve was in a sweet mood, proclaiming to be able to take care of all of my needs, to never get lost, to provide me food and shelter no matter where, to lick my very wounds if need be. Although I yearn for a more ethereal connection, Steve grounds me to this 3 dimensional reality. After finishing the forgiveness piece between Mary and her mother, I felt great gratitude for how each member of my family, each person who has served to teach me lessons along the way back to the One. So this morning when I meditated on a disturbing scene, I know I cannot judge what seems like an incomplete memory. How many times have I envisioned parts of this story only to sit down to write and what flows from my hands more beautifully insightful than I imagined?  

Jan 12^th, 2003 Last night we celebrated Steve’s birthday at the Greek restaurant and the belly dancer enticed me to get up and dance by offering me her zils—an ancient gesture of recognition just like when Miriam led the Yisraelites in celebratory dance at the Red Sea. It was amazing and our friends commented on how “tribal” I danced. Somehow I knew how to dance this ancient rhythm, perhaps because I had just written a scene in which Mary danced in celebration of the new moon.  At the last science and consciousness conference in Albuquerque, I joined the dance of universal peace and got lost in the ancient rhythms. Afterwards many approached to thank me for my presence asking if I was a professional dancer. Surprised and flattered, I shared my experience with a friend who was a ballroom dancer. She took offense claiming I had no training. True, but at the African drumming circle at the end of the conference, I could not help but dance with the energies. So I danced the drums and the drummer seemed to drum my beat—an erotic meeting of souls through music.